Flying back from an outstanding weekend in Los Angeles where I spent the weekend visiting friends and celebrating Pride, I'm finding myself full of wonder and a pent-up desire to live in a place where being out, open, and able to live a "normal" life is second nature (doesn't sound too unreasonable, eh?). There are few cities in the world today that actually afford this possibility to its citizens, and even they have certain restrictions due to state or federal laws (in whichever country they're in). L.A., however, has an incredible appeal from its west-coast lifestyle, proximity to Tinsel Town, and its people's history of civil demonstrations for equal rights. The energy there is completely unique.
Over the past three-and-a-half days I was overwhelmed with parties; meeting new, attractive guys; and experiencing L.A.'s Pride parade and festival. Thanks to my friends Jayzen Patria, Joe Keenan, and Logan Grizzel, I felt like a VIP (and even had VIP access to some of the events and the festival!). I was in awe at every corner to see the sheer volume of other LGBT people, to see them walking around hand in hand, and to be surrounded by them at different venues. Now, you may think this strange coming from me since I did live in Atlanta for a few years and in NYC for a few months, but I was totally unprepared for this level of fellow LGBT'ers (not to mention the compliments and looks I was receiving :). The thing that shocked and held me the most, though, was the sheer every dayness of it all. Seeing people doing what people do and not being afraid of judgement or being "outed" was so awesome to me. We even saw a couple on a date at one of the restaurants we ate at; they were two masculine, good-looking guys, but the stars in each of their eyes as they talked and dined together was incredibly touching to me. I had to try hard not to stare!
Even in New York City I feel that there is a certain invisible barrier that's yet to be penetrated insofar as being able to be open or affectionate on the streets without catching a stray glance or stare. I could be wrong, maybe it's paranoia, or maybe it's just in certain parts of NYC where this is OK. In California, however, there are many cities where being gay and being in a "normal" relationship is part-in-parcel of everyday living: Los Angeles, San Diego, Palm Springs, and San Francisco being just a few spanning the greater western coast line of the state. I was lamenting last night as we were leaving WEst HOllywood (the gay epicenter of the city) that even after all of the work I do with LGBT people, leading GE's global employee resource group for LGBT and straight allies, I was still in awe about the entire experience and wished it was second nature for me to feel comfortable in such a wonderful place.
To me, this is why holidays such as Pride are important: they are a time to reflect on our community and the battles we still have ahead to be full, equal civil citizens. A couple friends of mine told me that they don't "get" Pride or that celebrating it isn't "their thing" before I left. I have a hard time understanding that, because the injustices that occur on personal, professional, and legal levels every day certainly "get" them right now. They aren't able to have access to the same benefits as straight co-workers (most likely) or go on a romantic date with their boyfriend at a local restaurant. If they are able to because they live in a "gay-friendly" city, then shame on them for not respecting the history of how that city got there. Yes, albeit, our community covers a verywide spectrum of people, and not everyone appreciates the more sexually-related aspects of it (and I think that's completely fair!), those aren't the only things being represented during these celebrations.
I joined >300 of my 49%-still colleagues from NBCUniversal in their block-long "parade in a parade, cavalcade of stars" (as Jayzen described it) yesterday (6/12/11). I hooted and cheered at the crowd to get them excited; I waved my "Beauties and the Boss" paddle; and I may have only had 49% of a right to be in that particular march-block, but I was 150% Proud to be there. I marched yesterday for myself; my friends who are afraid to be happy and open; for the hope that my employer (GE) will adopt equal benefits one day; for my country to hear that I too want and deserve equal civil rights; for the children that suffered bullying to the point of taking their own lives over the past year; for the children, like I was, that are beaten, bullied, and/or abandoned by friends, family members, or complete strangers every day; in hopes that the next generation won't ever experience any of that; and to recognize the people who came before me and the thousands of other people marching and observing that and the other Pride parades happening in different parts of the country the same day.
As long as there are people who are not equally represented under the laws of the land, there will be celebrations, demonstrations, and events to continue to push them into the public light so their peers in the "mainstream" of society know what's happening and can see the injustice. That's the only way, through uncontrollable exposure, that we can make sure people know what they're voting on, who's lives they're impacting when they say this class of people can or cannot participate in very basic, civil liberties.
I've been thinking of ways to move to a more open, comfortable city with many more LGBT people so that I could be surrounded with people like me, and fabulous social gatherings to satiate my love of being OUT and about, but as I flew back from L.A. this time, that city moved much closer to the top of the list than before. There's just one more question in my mind: could I be a west-coast guy?? :)
Cheers, M@
Over the past three-and-a-half days I was overwhelmed with parties; meeting new, attractive guys; and experiencing L.A.'s Pride parade and festival. Thanks to my friends Jayzen Patria, Joe Keenan, and Logan Grizzel, I felt like a VIP (and even had VIP access to some of the events and the festival!). I was in awe at every corner to see the sheer volume of other LGBT people, to see them walking around hand in hand, and to be surrounded by them at different venues. Now, you may think this strange coming from me since I did live in Atlanta for a few years and in NYC for a few months, but I was totally unprepared for this level of fellow LGBT'ers (not to mention the compliments and looks I was receiving :). The thing that shocked and held me the most, though, was the sheer every dayness of it all. Seeing people doing what people do and not being afraid of judgement or being "outed" was so awesome to me. We even saw a couple on a date at one of the restaurants we ate at; they were two masculine, good-looking guys, but the stars in each of their eyes as they talked and dined together was incredibly touching to me. I had to try hard not to stare!Even in New York City I feel that there is a certain invisible barrier that's yet to be penetrated insofar as being able to be open or affectionate on the streets without catching a stray glance or stare. I could be wrong, maybe it's paranoia, or maybe it's just in certain parts of NYC where this is OK. In California, however, there are many cities where being gay and being in a "normal" relationship is part-in-parcel of everyday living: Los Angeles, San Diego, Palm Springs, and San Francisco being just a few spanning the greater western coast line of the state. I was lamenting last night as we were leaving WEst HOllywood (the gay epicenter of the city) that even after all of the work I do with LGBT people, leading GE's global employee resource group for LGBT and straight allies, I was still in awe about the entire experience and wished it was second nature for me to feel comfortable in such a wonderful place.To me, this is why holidays such as Pride are important: they are a time to reflect on our community and the battles we still have ahead to be full, equal civil citizens. A couple friends of mine told me that they don't "get" Pride or that celebrating it isn't "their thing" before I left. I have a hard time understanding that, because the injustices that occur on personal, professional, and legal levels every day certainly "get" them right now. They aren't able to have access to the same benefits as straight co-workers (most likely) or go on a romantic date with their boyfriend at a local restaurant. If they are able to because they live in a "gay-friendly" city, then shame on them for not respecting the history of how that city got there. Yes, albeit, our community covers a verywide spectrum of people, and not everyone appreciates the more sexually-related aspects of it (and I think that's completely fair!), those aren't the only things being represented during these celebrations.
I joined >300 of my 49%-still colleagues from NBCUniversal in their block-long "parade in a parade, cavalcade of stars" (as Jayzen described it) yesterday (6/12/11). I hooted and cheered at the crowd to get them excited; I waved my "Beauties and the Boss" paddle; and I may have only had 49% of a right to be in that particular march-block, but I was 150% Proud to be there. I marched yesterday for myself; my friends who are afraid to be happy and open; for the hope that my employer (GE) will adopt equal benefits one day; for my country to hear that I too want and deserve equal civil rights; for the children that suffered bullying to the point of taking their own lives over the past year; for the children, like I was, that are beaten, bullied, and/or abandoned by friends, family members, or complete strangers every day; in hopes that the next generation won't ever experience any of that; and to recognize the people who came before me and the thousands of other people marching and observing that and the other Pride parades happening in different parts of the country the same day.As long as there are people who are not equally represented under the laws of the land, there will be celebrations, demonstrations, and events to continue to push them into the public light so their peers in the "mainstream" of society know what's happening and can see the injustice. That's the only way, through uncontrollable exposure, that we can make sure people know what they're voting on, who's lives they're impacting when they say this class of people can or cannot participate in very basic, civil liberties.
I've been thinking of ways to move to a more open, comfortable city with many more LGBT people so that I could be surrounded with people like me, and fabulous social gatherings to satiate my love of being OUT and about, but as I flew back from L.A. this time, that city moved much closer to the top of the list than before. There's just one more question in my mind: could I be a west-coast guy?? :)
Cheers, M@
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